Don’t wait for the right outfit, the right makeup, the right friend, the right boyfriend or girlfriend, the right time. Nothing is ever right or left or now or then. Do whatever it is now. This could be the last day. Take yourself out on a date. Go see that movie and sit next to a stranger. Don’t wait to compliment that person. Speak up. Tell someone you love the way they smile. Or tell them you love the way they never smile. Go to that new restaurant. Leave a tip everywhere you go. One dollar goes a long way. Sit at the table with the boys that spend lunch talking about video games and computers and technology. They crave change too. Go to the dance even if you are all alone. Put yourself out there. Don’t stay in a comfort zone. Don’t let yourself be comfortable, ever. Life is uncomfortable. It’s awkward, raw, and messy. Compliment that girl with the flat ironed hair, the bouncy girls, or the messy braid. Styling hair is time consuming. Get your hands dirty. Buy that pretty outfit. You don’t need to be a certain weight or size or height to wear it. Wear it now. Walk with purpose. Don’t make yourself small. This is a free country. Use all the space you want. Sit up straight. Don’t slouch. Listen to an older person. They have stories to tell and advice to teach. Thank your teacher, they’re only human. And goddammit, don’t you dare ever regret anything. Don’t let time pass with the hope of it being better the next day. It won’t be. School sucks. You get over it and wake up every morning and eat breakfast and brush your teeth and pay attention in class. Do your homework rather than complain. Get help when you need it. Talk to upperclassmen. Talk to lowerclassmen. Don’t take out frustration on yourself, ever. It doesn’t help a damn thing. Go outside. Breathe the fresh air. Plant flowers and trees. Join a club. Nothing will ever be easier or better or simpler. Do everything and anything today, and now. Be impatient with life. There is no written rule telling you to be patient with life. Grab your damn chance now, because this is all you’ve got.
Note to self. (via dollpoetry)
I am grade 12 student who has just recently graduated. You might call me accomplished, and in a way, I am, but not in the way you’d think. 12 years of pouring over text books and being lined up to be judged in front of my peers has not made me any more intelligent. I can tell you the first 45 digits of Pi and I can explain to you the difference between an acid and a base, I can recite the Pythagorean Theorem in my sleep, I will recite lines out of a textbook like they are a religion. But I cannot tell you the value of security, or of kindness. The distinct contrast between personal health and personal gain. I can tell you in grade 10 four of my classmates attempted to take their own lives before finals. I can tell you our counsellors office is always booked. I can tell you how when I didn’t understand something in AP Chemistry my teacher asked me to leave if I could not participate in his class. I merely asked him to explain a question. Instead of doing his job and teaching, he told me to leave. Told me I was not good enough to be there. Mistakes are viewed as failure in these hallways. A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your entire life course. There is no “average” here. We all must exceed expectations. Do your parents know that a grade that is considered average is a “C”? When I got a C in fourth grade my parents grounded me for a month. They said I was lazy and stupid and incompetent and that I’d better smarten up and stop fooling around. I never fooled around. I am driven by a deep need to impress others. I never fool around. I worked and worked and worked, with a deep hollow of anxiety in my chest. I have never been good at History, but I worked and worked and I attained at best a low B. It was not good enough. It is not said but we are expected to put our education before our personal health. It is not asked of us, but it is what we must do to achieve what we are asked to achieve. Our teachers will tell you, “Oh, I only give them one hour of homework each night.” Which is essentially true, each of my five teachers only gives me one to two hours of homework each night. Hmm, that adds up to 5-10 hours of homework, and overdue classwork, and projects. Say goodbye to sleep, say goodbye to feeling calm. I’ve developed a deep rooted anxiety disorder due to school and perfectionistic tendencies. Even when you get 100 percent on an assignment they still criticise you, it is never good enough. One slip, and you are in deep deep trouble. I can tell you that 90 percent of us try our hardest, and our teachers and parents stand in the sidelines, screaming, “You can do better than that!”
IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO RAISE A DISABLED CHILD, OR A TRANS CHILD, OR A GAY OR BI OR PAN CHILD, IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO LOVE AND SUPPORT YOUR CHILD UNCONDITIONALLY, DO NOT HAVE A CHILD.